


Till we Meet Again

by siir_hootsalot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Character Death, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siir_hootsalot/pseuds/siir_hootsalot
Summary: "I can't.. I can't lose you." Castiel's usual rough voice cracks, showing a side of weakness very few had seen.  Dean looked at him teary-eyed cupping his face gently."Shhhh.... It's going to be okay." He gently kissed his forehead, giving him a small smile. "Take care of Sammy for me, okay?""Dean I-" He felt pathetic. Unable to stop his love, the man he considered to be his soulmate from dying. He couldn't save him and he knew that."It'll all be okay my love. Till we meet again."A story about recovery, remembrance, and the loss of a loved one.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 5





	Till we Meet Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is an au and Castiel is a human and Dean is not a hunter.

"I can't.. I can't lose you." Castiel's usual rough voice cracks, showing a side of weakness very few had seen. Dean looked at him teary-eyed cupping his face gently.

"Shhhh.... It's going to be okay." He gently kissed his forehead, giving him a small smile. "Take care of Sammy for me, okay?"

"Dean I-" He felt pathetic. Unable to stop his love, the man he considered to be his soulmate from dying. He couldn't save him and he knew that. 

"It'll all be okay my love. Till we meet again." His voice was quaky and soft, probably from how ill he was. They knew it was coming soon. They knew they didn't have much more time left. They knew that it was enviable at this point, but they still tried to fight it. That probably made it worse. The struggle to survive probably made his condition worsen, they were stressed and sad most of the time near the end, trying to find a way to push through this but their attempts were futile. Dean Winchester died at the young age of 27, over something as stupid as lung cancer. The death of a loved one is never easy, but this loss, in particular, left Castiel Novak a broken shell of a human.

He spent many of his days laying in bed crying wearing Dean's old flannels and band tees. He wanted to leave that empty apartment. Pack a bag, fly and move to California or something. But he felt like he was abandoning Dean. He felt like if he left the place where they built a life together he would be forfeiting, giving up on the one that he loved. So he stayed in that sad empty apartment only having himself and his thoughts. Blaming himself for not trying hard enough, for not keeping him alive and with him. Even though there was nothing to be done about the disease Castiel still felt so insignificant, so small. The small apartment never felt bigger. It felt like he could get lost there some days, unable to navigate through with someone there to guide him, others it felt like the walls were going to eat him alive. Like they were going to consume every fiber of his being, suffocating him. Somedays Cas felt the tears grow so heavy he was going to choke on his own throat. Sometimes he wished he would. He wished the day they met again would come sooner, he would be with him again. But that was selfish. The idea of ending it to get rid of the pain, to be with that person again was selfish. 

He didn't leave the house for weeks until the day of Dean's funeral. He loved Dean and wanted to say goodbye one last time so he dragged himself out of bed. The park was quiet and people began to rustle in. He watched as the saddened faces of all of Dean's friends and family looked at the closed casket. He looked at the teary face of Sam Winchester, Dean's beloved brother who Dena wanted Cas to look after. He hadn't done any looking after him. He barely thought about the others who were coping with his death. The tribute came and went and Castiel didn't have the stomach to give a eulogy. He didn't have the guts to face anyone and talk to them about everything. He sat there mindlessly, tuning everything out trying not to break down in front of everyone. He mourned in silence and the left.

He arrived back at his apartment opening the door and looking around for the first time in weeks. He saw the pictures they had taken on date nights. The coffee rings left on the table because they didn't have coasters. He saw the stove where they learned how to make pie just because Dean was craving it. He saw the little cactus Dean had given him as an apology for some stupid fight or another. He looked around at all the things that reminded him of Dean of him and Dean. And that was when it hit him, I mean fully hit him, that Dean will never be coming back, that Dean was gone, truly gone. He realized that he should try and treasure what they had because there won't be any new chapter to their story. And he broke down, he was all alone, truly all alone. His favorite character had just died and he knew he wouldn't be revived because this wasn't some show. This was real life and people don't come back to life hundreds of times. Tears fell from his eyes like the thousands of angels cast out of heaven. He cried until there was nothing left to cry, so he sat there and sobbed dry tears.

When he was finally able to get up, he walked over to the closest picking up all the clothes that were Deans. He pressed then to his nose trying to absorb and scent that might be left. He didn't want Dean to fade. He didn't want to wake up not remembering how much he loved someone once in his life, even if it would never happen again. He didn't want to forget no matter how much it hurt, because that is what made it special. Knowing that it was so important that he had to hurt this much once it was gone. And honestly, he hated that it had to be that way but it was true.

Maybe one day the day would come where they would see each other in heaven, or the afterlife or whatever was to come next, but that wouldn't be right now. He did hope to see his love but he was willing to wait if it was what Dean would have wanted. He was willing to suffer to be able to feel Dean's warm embrace once more. He was willing to wait for it. Wait for the day that they were to meet again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Tell me what you think!


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